The same goes for my grandmother, the matriarch of our small triangle. My mother, my grandmother, me. We are the only family I claim. The only family I really know. I broke the triangle, transformed it into a circle with the birth of Sugarbaby. Four women with the same middle name and the same hot-tempered bloodline. Each unique but each like the other.
I don't so much see myself as being like my mother. Physically there are a few resemblances. You can most certainly tell we are related. Our mannerisms and facial expressions are quite alike. Our voices, especially over the telephone, are a complete mimic of each other. But my mother embodies beauty, grace, and class. A knack for knowing just how to act in mixed company. There is a secrecy about my mother that keeps me at bay. Just beyond knowing her as well as I could, that is where I stand with her.
As for personality, I claim my grandmother. We two are comrades, confiding in each other and seeing one another reflected back. My grandmother was said to be mean, tough, and headstrong as a young woman. She had to be I suppose, raising three boys in her situation. And then my mother came along. And then I came along and somewhere in there she softened up. Just enough that I never knew that woman that they spoke of. But sometimes, I'll be talking to her on the phone and start getting onto the children and she remarks how much I sound just like her. And I take that as a compliment.
Sugarbaby is yet to be pinpointed. I assume, if history repeats and generations skip, she will act like my mother. I hope for her sake she has my mother's levelheadedness, her quick mind, her steadfastness to do what it takes to survive. I hope she has my grandmother's humor, her wit, her sarcasm, her strength that has carried her through all these years. I wish all these things for her and that she knows how amazing her grandmother and great-grandmother are and that she appreciates that she is here on this earth because of three women who are so much alike.
Happy Mother's Day.
Photography by Expressions.