Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Death By Chocolate

Being scared is a handicap.

I have lots of unnecessary fears, brought on by my own imagination, that affect my life in many ways. Laying awake at night, jumping at every little sound, because you just know someone is trying to break in your house. Yep, that's me. I haven't gotten a decent nights sleep since our dog died. I am well aware that the chance of someone actually attempting to rob my house while I am here is pretty slim, especially where we live, but still I stress.

Last nights armed robbery didn't do much to quell my fears. True, the criminal was an idiot, but he was an armed idiot. Weapons are so much more dangerous in the hands of imbeciles. He was caught today. In true idiot fashion, he went to an employee's house, not knowing the guy worked for us and was recognized. The police caught him at the local gas station a few minutes later, not even a half block from the store he had so brazenly robbed the previous evening. Absolutely incredible....stupidity knows no boundaries.

Other irrational fears include sending my children to public school, letting my son wait for the bus right in front of our house by himself, walking to my car in the dark, sitting in the park in the middle of the day with my kids and without my husband. Going anywhere extremely crowded for fear that I might lose one of my kids. All these fears have very real bases, but most likely aren't going to happen to me. I also fear the end of the world. In 2012 right? So we've got like 3 more years? That is not long enough for me.

I wish these things didn't crowd my mind on such a regular basis. It's crippling, always worrying about the what ifs. Did I mention although I have flown several (like over 20) times in my life, I probably won't get back on an airplane again? What's with that? All the sudden I have this fear of flying. What's next? Chocolate? That would be a fitting end, being deathly scared of chocolate, having a heart attack and keeling over. Death by chocolate for sure.


  1. Goodness sweetie, these don't sound like run of the mill fears. Is there anyone you can talk them through with? Especially if they are curtailing your activities.

  2. Maybe we're kindred souls or maybe it's an epidemic, or maybe both, but I'm terrified of everything these days too---my children will fall down the stairs if I stop staring at them, and when we drive in the mountains the steering AND brakes will surely fail, and as for bridges? I'm sweating just thinking of bridges.

    I did manage to fly to WV from Dulles last week, but I've managed an alternate way way could I get on that tiny propeller plane again, no way.

    Death by chocolate? I wouldn't be afraid of THAT. If you need someone to hold your hand during your next bite, just call!

  3. THEY ARE TOTALLY LEGIT FEARS! trust me, i grew up with a slightly paranoid mother myself, and these by no means, are out of the ordinary.

    Like I told you earlier, I am horribly scared of kids drowning in bath tubs! In addition to many others that would make you sound totally sane.

    :-) I want to die in my sleep. But now, I am thinking of wanting to die of eating chocolate. Sounds nice

  4. So sorry to hear about the fears... I really can empathize on that one. Armed robbery is creepy regardless.

    Given my past of fearlessness, sometimes my anxiety is staggering. Cutting back my caffeine has oddly helped.

    I actually had panic attacks while pg with E. because I was sure we would get bird flu and I couldn't get my Dr. to give me some freaking Tamiflu.

  5. I have all those fears plus some. Storms/Tornadoes are a big one for me, even before the tornado we had here recently, getting in a major car accident if driving further than 30 minutes away...seriously, panic attacks! Also of my house catching on fire and not being able to get my kids out quick enough! Totally parinoid..I know!


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