Slow Life

 

What in the world are we doing?

Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I look at the ways of our family, and how they can be so drastically different from that of our neighbors, and I wonder. Are we slowing down, just to stand out? We say we are setting an example for our children, but are we also maybe trying to set one for our community?

I know our slow it down mindset kicked off when Cash was four and we began to view food in a different way. He is now eight. I say four because that appears to be the last picture I have of a brightly dyed birthday cake. And that is what it began with. Food dyes, artificial colors, and other various petroleum preservatives. We banned it all. Began to make everything at home, from scratch most of the time. It was time consuming yes, but I like to cook and everyone was healthier and had much more pleasant attitudes. So win-win right? So I thought.

That whole foods diet began to set us apart. I was suddenly the mom that wouldn’t let her kid eat the party food. I was the one looking like a crazy person for not allowing my son to eat the donuts that were brought for the soccer game half-time. After the initial period of having to just get over it, I began to wear that badge with pride. It was easier for me to look down on those less enlightened folks who were still stuffing their kids full of petroleum than to try and inform them. Sure, I’ll stand out! My family is healthier because we questioned the Standard American Diet. See?!? Don’t you people see?!? Thankfully, my ego eventually quieted down enough for me to just go on about our lives without judging what everyone put in their mouth. I mean it was exhausting and  unfair to those around me. The vast majority of our citizens really don’t know what’s in their food and what it is truly doing to their body and mind.

“LET FOOD BE THY MEDICINE AND MEDICINE BE THY FOOD.” – HIPPOCRATES

That little quote that hangs above my kitchen bar has become my answer to just about every food related question. Easy and done.

And then…well, then came Paleo.

I jumped on the Paleo train with gusto and threw out all the grains. Save for quinoa. I really love quinoa. And yes, amazingly I felt even better than I did before! How was it possible? Did people know this? That grain type foodstuffs could be the cause of most of our health issues and daily well being? My husband scoffed. Sure he had been on board with the all natural, whole foods lifestyle. But no bread? I mean, the hell?

Then he tried it. Over a year ago. And he will now testify to its greatness.

But in true disclosure we are a Primal (not fully Paleo) eating clan. We love some dairy, and we get crazy and eat some rice or corn about once a week or more depending on the busyness level around here. And we let our kids eat gluten all they want, as long as its whole foods based. We figure when they are teens they can make that decision to abstain from grains if they want.

So all this talk about food…it was actually leading up to something. Somewhere along the way, after fighting with outsiders (mainly school issues) regarding our diet, homeschool came across my radar. (Let me quickly point out, that our middle son absolutely cannot have anything with artificial ingredients in it due to allergies, and he was repeatedly being exposed to this at school despite my careful planning and packing.) Obviously I knew what homeschooling was, or I thought I did. But after being a devout reader of Pioneer Woman, I started to see it in a different light. What is this togetherness? This willingness to learn? This, shall we say, coolness of not going to actual school? I was intrigued, but content to just read about it from the sidelines.

Like with anything I get hooked on, my reading soon became obsessive on the subject. And then I threw the pitch. “Honey? I think I want to homeschool the kids.”

And like with anything I get hooked on, he voiced his views, and then gave me the reins.

If you’ve been a reader here for any amount of time, you will know that I think homeschooling has been wonderful for our family. And it has led to a multitude of other things. A multitude of ways to slow down.

Before I was the stressed public school room-mom (for two classrooms!) who said yes to everything, drove 60+ miles a day just to take the kids to school, coached two soccer teams, baked and cooked and packed three meals a day for three kids, planned parties and hated the waste the whole time I was planning them, worried incessantly about my kids education, among a whole slew of other “issues”.

Sidenote: Have I ever mentioned how I began to abhor waste? All those treat bags full of junk that would get thrown away? Why did we have to have that stuff? There are so many alternatives. The mounds of paperwork sent home? Everything that was unnecessary began to really bother me. I would go off on rants upon receiving something else I deemed waste or having to pick up after another bag filled with plastic junk. I kept the rants internal when it was something my kids brought home that was supposed to be a treat for behaving well or earning a academic award, but felt their could be alternatives to those things as well.

My kids were exhasuted daily upon school pick-up. Falling asleep on the 20 minute drive home. Learning but not really growing. Learning to fit in. Learning things that had nothing to do with real academics. Fighting and fighting and fighting during the few evening hours we had together as a family.

So we began to slow down. And it was lovely. We had more time for each other, more time to just be and just play. I said no to anything and everything that would stress me out. Of course there would be times I slipped and forgot. Like last year when I volunteered to teach two classes at our homeschool co-op and coach my daughter’s soccer team because no one else would and the head of the soccer association asked me very nicely. Luckily, I see that those obligations were not good for me or our family so this year I will be politely declining.

What comes next?

Small things, I suppose. We switched to raw milk for our health. We added a few goats to our Tiny Farm this year. Increased our flock of chickens. We plan on implementing some permaculture techniques in our garden due to us not being the most awesome gardeners. (Although, I do still have butternut squash in my kitchen from late last summer so we must not be all that bad.) We are learning to take care of our fruit trees and we added some berry bushes. All this to help bring our food a bit closer to home. Which is ironic since we own a grocery store. But you know, we’ve done things there to help the movement. Adding an organic/gluten free section and trying to buy produce from local farmers to name a few.

In the making it for yourself department, my husband has become quite skilled at brewing craft beer over the past few year. The man spent months chopping and stacking wood to ensure we wouldn’t be having to buy any this Winter. He received beekeeping equipment for Christmas and we will have new winged friends in our backyard in a few months. He seems more interested in helping the honeybees thrive than harvesting actual honey but I’m sure his tune will change. Just the other evening, I caught him making soap.

I do my part thru my cooking and gardening and animal tending. I picked up knitting as another slow hobby and a way to take back a bit of control of our accessories. $10 for a cheap scarf? No thank you. I’ll make it myself and know whose hands it came from. Not to mention that fiber arts are just beautiful.

And the road to simple just keeps on going. I love this road. It’s not smooth by any means, and a lot of the time it means hard work. But hard work is something our society has begun to greatly undervalue. Hard work can make you stand out. Authenticity can make you stand out. I guess in teaching my children the value of both of these things, I am teaching them to stand out. I’m quite alright with that.

Who Are You? Really?

I came across a pretty good post on an introverted Mom homeschooling extroverts.
I’ve got one introvert for sure! One extrovert for sure! And one on the fence. Of course I always wonder if I’m doing it right. But lately I’ve been actively pushing away that thought.

One of my very favorite things about homeschool, is the lack of pressure. My kids aren't being pressured to dress a certain way, watch certain things, like specific toys, or really fit in. It’s taken a long while of letting go of my own issues in order to let my kids just be themselves. It’s okay and even necessary to have rules about stuff, but its also okay and even necessary to know when to relax. We are becoming experts at this. Want to go play in the treehouse instead of doing your math? Sure! As long as you know that you will be doing your math at some point today. Wake up to a beautiful day and decide to spend it outside? No problem. Learning will happen. It always happens. Homeschoolers are not stuck in a schedule, a box, or a clique.

Stella insists on spending some days in costume. This used to bother me. I have no idea, because isn’t that a trivial worry? Who cares if she dresses like a fairy for grammar, a princess for reading, and a sorceress for dinner. At one time I was very insistent on things being a certain way. Just so. I cared a lot about image. I am now extremely grateful for whatever it was that knocked some sense into me. I would have spent my children’s childhood stifling them. Killing their authentic self.

In the last year or so of letting go a bit at a time, I have come to realize that I spent a lot of time hiding my authentic self. A few days ago, a new friend whom I am already very fond of (yes, I’m writing about you!) mentioned something about me being crazy but in a good way. She said I was a bit of a role model because I didn’t seem to give a damn about what people though. To me this was a huge compliment because I spent so much of my life caring what people thought. I’ve never been a people pleaser, but as I said, image was very important.

I’m not cured of my issues. No where near in fact. But I am getting better. I’ve got my children here to lead the way and be the teachers. My small kids who aren’t yet jaded, who don’t know what fitting in means, who have their own style and are being allowed to think independently. They are allowed to be children. Their childhood is not being rushed by me or any politicians or school administrators that think they should be doing XYZ at a certain time. Their exposure to things that our family values don’t agree with is very limited. No one is calling them weird or stupid or ugly. All things one hears when visiting a public elementary school.

Right now they just get to be kids. And I get to be their mom. That’s all there is to it.

Winding Down

I had lofty goals for our three ’week break from school. A stack of books, several knitting projects, lots of cleaning and reorganizing (especially of the schoolroom), and some downtime woven in. I made it through two and a half books, two hats, a scarf, and a dishcloth. I’m still cleaning and reorganizing but as we all know, that is a never-ending process.

I had paused in my reading of Nurturing the Soul of Your Family because I knew it was going to require my full attention and lots of journaling to make sense of the ideas in it. Christmas was not the time for that! I actually started over at the beginning with a brand new blank journal in hand (don’t you love new journals!) and am really enjoying it this time around. It’s one of those one chapter at a time books that you really have to sit and mull over before moving on. Simple Abundance is an amazing daily reader that I gifted to my soul sistah last year when I felt she really needed it. She loved it so much that she got her own copy for the New Year and gifted mine back to me. I’m so glad she did. It is the perfect companion to Nurturing the Soul of Your Family.

Last night I cast on for a Hitchhiker Shawl in this gorgeous blackish grayish yarn. I had it wound at the store and now I cannot find the tag. I wish I knew what this yarn was because it is lovely! This is only my second time following a pattern and its definitely the most difficult project I have attempted. But so far its going smoothly after starting over like nine times. I anticipate this one taking me at least a few weeks to complete.

As I sit here in my new little office area (pictures later), typing this up, it is some kind of nasty outside. The sky has been spitting ice since early early morning. The roads are slick, the temperature is hovering right around freezing, which is an improvement from the 12 degree temp that greeted us yesterday morning. We are keeping the woodstove roaring and the wool underthings on. I have to say that my absolute favorite Christmas gift was a pair of SmartWool leggings. I’m living in these things!
(Pattern found on Ravelry. You can find me on Ravelry here!)

Yarning along with Ginny.

Have Your Ideal Day!

I might be in love. Tara Stiles has stolen my attention. I am slowly working my way through all her videos. Practicing yoga more and dabbling in meditation. It makes me happy. So I flow with it.

Just like we flow through our school days. Guys, it is so cool this year. We are just making our way through the day doing this and that and learning and creating and I love it. Her are a few Instagram shots.

Mornings are for taking it easy. Waking up easy. Visiting the chickens. Tending the garden.

 

 

With a bit of back porch relaxing before starting the school day.

 

 

Following the method outline in The Well-Trained Mind (which is now my homeschooling bible), our weekly science study consists of picking out an animal and learning all we can about it. This week was the ape family. Specifically the great apes. It all boils down to us reading a lot and discussing it thoroughly and then they do a notebook page. I ask them questions and they are expected to respond in full sentences, which I then record. When they are older they will be writing their responses themselves, but for now that would be too tedious and would kill their desire to do it again. At this age it is supposed to be feast for the mind. Give them as much information as you can. Don't drill them with handwriting exercises during narration, that will take all the fun out of it. But do have them illustrate what they learned from the lesson.

 

 

Granted its only the first week but I am truly digging the curriculum choices this year. I'll try and post often on what we are doing and what is working and what is not.

 

Until then, be like the trees and just sway.....

 

Everyday

A few days ago, I caught these two deep in a game of checkers. Cash taught her to play. That in itself is progress. Him taking the time to try and be patient with her makes me feel like we are finally moving forward.

I don't buy into the whole notion that siblings fight and there is nothing you can do about it. Growing up without brothers and sisters makes me want to help my children realize how important those relationships really are. Even at this young of an age. I want them to be friends. To take care of each other. Sure, there will be times they just don't like each other. A bit of bickering is okay. But I want to see more moments like these. In this game above he wasn't trying to let her win, nor was he trying to crush her completely. She's been working hard on not being a sore loser. I model it for her plenty when they are constantly beating me at any game we play.

I hope that sometime in the near future, her brother can be her best friend and vice versa. Until then I will take these small moments and capture them and hold them for further inspection and evidence that sibling relationships are totally worth it.

Homeschooling For the 2013-2014 Year

My ever present stack of books. They almost always include foodie type books and homeschooling tomes.

Last year we began homeschooling in January. I really had no idea what I was doing. I totally winged it. Cobbling together various curricula, starting in the middle of some of them, determining where my children were academically. It was a learning experience for all of us.

We learned that Saxon math works great for the younger kids in our home but it is a complete drag for the older one.

We learned that we all need to read more.

We learned that History might be everyone's favorite subject.

We learned we need to take more time for outside activity.

I also determined where my kids strengths and weakness lie and how to instruct them better in the upcoming year. Cash will be staying on his grade level for language arts but will be moving ahead a grade level for Math. Stella will be doing all first grade level work. In public school she would be in Kindergarten. We managed to do all her Kindergarten work in 5 months and taught her to read. Her favorite books to read are Elephant & Piggie books.

In the middle of all our schooling this past Winter and Spring, I was reading Susan Wise Bauer's fantastic book The Well Trained Mind. I was inspired to teach my children in the classical style with a few modifications. I researched curriculum, taking some suggestions from the book. I set up binders in the organization style she recommends. I love that it is literature and history heavy.

Here are our curriculum picks for the 2013-2014 year:

Cash:
Math - Teaching Textbooks 3
            Life of Fred
Grammar- First Language Lessons Level 1 & 2
Spelling-  Spelling Workout B
Writing- Copy Work
Reading- Read alouds from the suggested lists in The Well Trained Mind
               Fun reading from library books on his reading level
History- History Odyssey The Ancients
               Story of the World Vol. 1 Ancient Times
              Child's History of the World
              Usborne Encyclopedia of World History
              History Pockets
Science- DK  First Animal Encyclopedia
               Kingsfisher First Human Body Encyclopedia
               Earth Child
Art-      The Most Complete Beginner's Art Book
Music- Various Classical Pandora stations
             Classical composer CD's (in the car)
             Beethoven Lives Upstairs
Foreign Languages: English From the Roots Up (Latin & Greek Root Word Flashcards)
                                 Spanish Flashcards

Stella:
Math- Saxon 1
           Life of Fred
Grammar- First Language Lessons Level 1
Spelling- Spelling Workout A
Writing- Handwriting Without Tears
               Copywork
Reading- Read alouds from the suggested lists in The Well Trained Mind
                Fun reading from library books on her reading level
History- History Odyssey Ancients
              Story of the World Vol. 1 Ancient Times
              Child's History of the World
              Usborne Encyclopedia of World History
              History Pockets
Science- DK First Animal Encyclopedia
              Kingsfisher First Human Body Encyclopedia
              Earth Child
Art-      The Most Complete Beginner's Art Book
Music-Various Classical Pandora stations
            Classical composer CD's (in the car)
            Beethoven Lives Upstairs
Foreign Languages: English From the Roots Up (Latin and Greek Root Word Flashcards)
                                 Spanish Flashcards

As you can see they will be doing Science, History, Art, and Music together while working on their Language Arts and Math curriculum separately.

             



A few links to share with you:

A great article on a secular homeschool co-op. I hope one day to start one in my area. But that is a long time from now.

101 Best Chapter Books for kids. Feed them good food and good literature.

Library Day (Books Are Just the Best)

We make a weekly library trip and between three accounts we bring home a lot of books. Young fiction for Eli, easy readers for Cash, and storybooks for Stella. Here were mine and Stella's favorite bedtime stories from our last library trip.



Granny's Dragon by Lisa McCourt

A young girl visiting her grandma's house doesn't have many excuses to be afraid of monsters, as long as she has a guard dragon.

Thunder Cake by Patricia Polacco

Another grandmother story. In this one, Babushka helps her granddaughter overcome her fears and make a yummy cake.

Ultra-Violet Catastraphe! or The Unexpected Walk with Great-Uncle Magnus Pringle by Margaret Mahy

This lovely tale was our favorite. Full of whimsy and silliness. These relatives can relate in a very different way.

What Stella Is Up To

I thought it might be fun to take a peek into what Miss Sugarbaby is up to during our school days. She certainly has a much lighter load than the boys being that she is only 4, but that doesn't mean she is exempt from academics all together!

She is the latest riser in our family, which works out well. It gives the boys and I time to wake up and get through a decent chunk of work before she crashes the party. Once she is up her first activity is breakfast. Then its either back to her room to play dress up or to the computer to play Starfall.

 

Dress up is pretty important. To her, school at home is an excuse for several costume changes a day. I'm fine with this. I feel that giving her a chance to express herself however she wishes is very important. Also, all that time spent picking out the right accessories keeps her busy for long stretches of time.

 



 

Once she has exhausted all her clothing options, she can usually be coerced into doing some Kindergarten level bookwork or drawing. Below is a picture of her stuffed cat.

 

 

Stella has already finished one complete Kindergarten book. A bit of a sampling of each subject. For now we are doing small increments of time in Reading, Writing, and 'Rithmetic. Bear math is a favorite. She can make up her own number sentences to solve or copy down the ones I set up for her. About 10 minutes of Math is all we do a day. Of course that doesn't include when she helps with cooking, or the constant barrage of questions I fire at her during the course of our day.

 

 

As I have mentioned before we are using Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons. It's working very well for her and we are getting close to being half way through the book. The promise of her very own library card is a motivating factor, but the excitement on her face when she reads BOB books is delightful for me.

 

 

Her favorite part of our take it easy hours might be the stretches of time spent outside.

 

In the woods.

 

In the flower beds.

 

 

 

 

At the playground.

 

 

 

If you're Stella there is lots of fun to be had. Everyday and everywhere.

Rainy days are fun because you get to accessorize with an umbrella!

 

Projects are fun and good for motor skills and following directions.

 

Hummus is fun, especially when you make up songs about it as you eat.

 

Painting farm animals is grand.

Soccer is a real kick as long as you don't have to actually play soccer and can just wear cute clothes.

 

 

 

Cooking at a friends house is much better than cooking at home!

 

 

 

Face mask.....war paint. Same difference.

 

Growing things. Like her mind and her plants. This is what she does best.

I'm Pretty Joyful, But Then Again I Might Have Been Drinking

I realized the other day that I am creeping up on 500 posts on this here little ole' blog. I plan on having a FUN giveaway when that happens so look for it next week.

Random fact: I used to have a good number of readers and commenters until I quit blogging for over 6 months and lost my domain name. Now all those people that followed me in Reader or had my feed emailed have no idea I even started writing and sharing again. That makes me sad.

Yesterday we made the bi-weekly trek to Ft.Smith to drop off the Monsterman. We ate way too much sushi and drank too many beers (shush I stopped at two cause someone's gotta drive this circus home), that's just what we do when we are anywhere with a population over 5,000.  I also wanted to hit up Michael's while I was there and I drug the boys in with me while the husband took Sugarbaby to her very favorite place, Tarj'ay. The fact that these two stores are right next to each other does not seem like a coincidence, eh?

I was trying to keep it short and sweet because I just couldn't imagine my sword fighting, bad mouthing, rough and tumble sons having any interest in a craft store. Dudes....I was wrong. You would have thought they were in Heaven. They wanted everything. They loved everything. I have to give them credit where it is due though. They are quite the little artists.

This is my pantry door:

I added my own piece to it this morning. Just as a reminder to myself and the other lovely people inhabiting this house.

Sharpie and watercolor are two of our favorite mediums.

Feeding My Family....It's All About The Love

Much of the past year of my life has been consumed by food. More specifically the food my children were eating. Even more specifically the food that my handsome son, Cashman, puts in his mouth.

Cashman turns 6 in October. He is the sweetest boy I have ever met. Creative energy radiates off of him. He is forever consumed by LEGO structures or creating art in any medium he can get his hands on. He will sit and draw for hours. His smile is infectious. He loves to swim. He has a major sweetooth. He takes his first name from my favorite grandfather. He is smart beyond belief.

Fireshark by Cash age 5

I have put off writing this post for almost the entire year since we embarked on our food journey. No one ever wants to have the thought that something might not be quite right with one of their children. Certainly not me, certainly not the husband. I've hesitated writing this because....I honestly don't know what, if anything, is up with him.

I'm well read by Internet standards, although I prefer my material on actual paper, but I have devoured baby books, magazines, child development websites, WebMD, and the likes over the last 8 years of being a parent. Based on everything I've read, my middle son exhibits symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome. Very mild symptoms but nonetheless things that I notice. He has had no official diagnosis, and likely will not. Instead we have Feingold.

We found the Feingold Program thru the Internet, of course. Not five minutes into reading the site and I was convinced this was the answer. The husband agreed to try it, he would try anything as long as that anything did not involve labeling his son or medicating him. I agreed. Cashman's symptoms were not severe enough to warrant that. They were just noticeable enough that it was causing problems at home and starting to cause problems in pre-school.

Thus was born, THE FOOD POLICE. With me as sheriff. The kids don't eat anything with artificial color or flavor, or the petroleum preservatives BHT, BHQ, & TBHQ. This eliminates a lot of packaged food. Feingold provides you with a extensive food guide, a fast food guide, and a mail order guide for things that are truly hard to find. Living where we do makes it extra difficult to find acceptable convenience foods. Needless to say, I spend a fair amount of time in the kitchen. I like to cook and my kitchen is my favorite room, so its not too bad, but still I cook....a lot.

We mostly eat whole foods, homecooked dinners every night. I make my own sauces and mixes. I use a bread machine to make bread every other day. Homemade bread is amazing but it is a must to have an electric knife and a bread guide also helps tremendously. I bake muffins, brownies, cakes, & cookies. I get up every school morning and make breakfast, pack lunches and snacks, and remind myself it is all worth it.

I fight the good fight in regards to no homemade treats in school. I dread class parties. Ostracizing my kid. Being "that" mom. Explaining that no, it isn't a sugar thing. It's much bigger than that. Wishing we lived across the pond where they have already smartened up and banned lots of these chemicals. Grateful that we own a grocery store and I can order what I need. Sad that said grocery store is mostly full of contraband food. Off limits goodies that beckon every time we walk in.

Cashman is getting to where he realizes that he feels better when he is "clean". He knows a lot of things he can and cannot have and is mostly good about turning down things he knows are really bad. We can usually tell when he has had something because within 15 minutes to an hour he is a different child. And it can take days for the reaction to wear off. We try to be patient and understanding when that happens but you can't always be as you wish.

The one thing you can do is take care of your kids. The best way you know how. You are in control. You are not limited by what the masses produce or consume. Despite Sugarbaby's expression, Mama really does know best. Whatever that may be.

Ain't No Potty Like An Arkansas Potty. Cause An Arkansas Potty Don't Stop.

Okay. One day she will be seriously pissed off over this.

I don't know if it will be over her mother butchering a 90's rap song for a catchy blog title, or the fact that her toilet training was chronicled on the Internetz.

Hmmm. What will the teenage Sugarbaby think?


Anyways................

On with the post.

This is it folks! The last one in diapers. And she's really only half in them right now, cause we are having pretty good success with potty training. I'm sure the jar of Potty M&M's on the bathroom counter are an integral part of that success, but hey who cares as long as the pee gets where its going? Not me! Not Sugarbaby!

Wordless Wednesday: Bye to the Bah

Alright, I realize this isn't exactly wordless, but I just had to point out that this picture right here...it is the last you will see of it's kind. Sugarbaby has gone 24 hours without her bah (pacifier for those not fluent in Sugarbabyese) and things are looking good. Except...well now she just won't shut up.

Sugarbaby Saturday: Transitions

This week we made the move from crib to toddler bed.

From baby bed to big girl bed.

She has taken it well despite being a Taurus.

Her birthday is coming up and I can hardly believe two years has passed

since God answered my prayers for a sweet sweet baby girl.

Something Is Missing

This makes me feel old. This loss of my son's. The last baby part of him. He is six and this makes him feel big. So big that he doesn't need me to hug him after school. Cause his friends are watching. But this "first" he was so excited about, that he clung to me tightly when I picked him up from school. Grinning closed mouth as big as a closed mouth will let you. Then he couldn't stand it anymore, blurting out "I lost my first tooth!" Funny, he's too big for hugs but not so big that he doesn't believe in the Tooth Fairy. Childhood is magical. I miss it, but I'm pretty busy enjoying it through the eyes (and teeth) of these offspring of mine.

Suck On This

Sugarbaby likes to play this little game where she puts the handle part of her pacifier in my mouth and the business end in her mouth. We look something like Lady and the Tramp in their infamous spaghetti dog smooching scene.

She thinks this is hilarious. I tolerate this because it makes her laugh and something about being face to face with her makes me giggle too.

And here is where I step up on my soapbox about the use of pacifiers. To each his or her own I say. If pacifiers work for you and your family, then use them. If you never had a need for them, that's awesome but leave your opinions about other people's children and their pacis at home. The only person excluded from this is Supergrandma. She's allowed to mess with my children all she wants cause well....ya know, she's their grandma.

But you, random person in the store? I don't need your observation that she doesn't need that paci. I also don't need you to yank it out of her mouth in a playful way, causing her to scream. Playing keepaway with a 17 month old is not in your best interest. I'm tempted to kick you in the balls so you scream in the same manner she is.

Pacis worked for us. The Monster had his and it was the only way he would sleep through the night. It took me until he was nearly three to break him of it. I'll admit that went on a little long. Cashman was done with his by the time he was Sugarbaby's current age. But I don't see Sugarbaby giving her paci up voluntarily any time soon. Pacifiers are toddler Valium. Leave me and my daughter's prescription medication alone.

Fall Style

I'm a simple girl.

I like classic things.

I don't do trendy.

I do crisp white tailored button up shirts.

I do great fitting jeans.

I do fitted tees and yoga pants.

I used to rock Doc Martens and flannel shirts. Good lord please take me back to the 90's.

I usually do flat ironed, non-colored hair.

With big silver hoop earrings or elegant understated pearl studs.

I don't have a big flashy engagement ring. Instead its a simple band with baguette diamonds running along the front.

But I love fall. And I love fall style.

I love sweaters and pea coats. I love boots and scarves. I love jeans. Have I mentioned that I love jeans?

I just got these boots today as an early birthday present.

And I plan on getting this coat when my actual birthday rolls around.

Imagine these two items paired with some skinny jeans. Cute, no? I'm thinking I'll look like I could just saddle up and take a jaunty ride through the English countryside. Which would in all actuality be impossible where I live. Since ya know....Arkansas and all. But that is beside the point. My style is classic and a bit equestrian. I grew up on a horse farm. That kind of stuff doesn't wear off.

So I know what I want to wear, but here is my real problem. The hair. My hair. It is in a funk. It has no idea what it wants to be when it grows up. Does it want to be curly and thick, tousled and bedheaded every day? Cause it can do that. Believe you me. It is talented in the tousled and half curly half straight department. Does it want to be flat ironed everyday into sleek shiny sheets that can be flipped over the shoulder with the flick or a wrist? Does it want to be blonde? Does it want to be brunette? Does it want to be Neapolitan? Chocolate and vanilla in one? Does it want side swept bangs? Does it want blunt cut bangs? Does it want to remain bangless? IT DOESN'T KNOW!!!! I don't know. I need help, readers. HELP!

Perhaps a few pictures might help?

I have the straight, all one length picture. Windblown at that. Ignore the husband.

Oh and here I have bangs. I loved my bangs. Nevermind the skanky room. It was the office in a house we rented about 3 years ago before we became "adults" and bought a real house. Not sure why I am explaining the condition of this room to you except I don't want you to think we live in a house with patched walls and flannel blankets for window treatments. And I don't usually scowl like that. See what happens when I try to look sexy? I scowl. Not sexy. At all.

And here in this tiny picture is my tousled look. My hair has a natural wave that can be significantly enchanced with styling products and actually looks okay.

I searched and searched for "the brunette" picture but it can't be found. My mom hates me with dark hair. I love me with dark hair. I have really pale skin and green eyes and when I'm blonde it just all blends together. When I am brunette, my eyes pop. My skin looks paler, ghostlike, think Bella in Twilight pale, but the eyes...oh the eyes. My best feature by far.

So tell me dear readers. What do I do?

Down The Long Hall

Today I dropped the boys off for their first day of school.

They were excited and jittery and talkative the whole way there. The Monster was nervous, he didn't want to go. Cashman was another story. All he has talked about for the whole summer is this day. Me? Well I was just ready for a break.

Right inside the building Cashman's sweet sweet preschool teacher was waiting. She greeted us and gathered him and a few other tiny human beings up to walk to their room. I told him to follow her and he did. Without looking back. Without hugging me or saying bye. He just walked off as if he had been doing it his whole life.

I followed some distance behind with Sugarbaby and the Monster. I kept my eye on Cashman until we had to turn off to the First grade hall. His little shoulders were held high, his Lightning McQueen backpack bounced along and he looked like he belonged.

I swear I didn't cry until I got in the car.

One More Step Away From Me

Of all the milestones babies reach in their first year here on earth, walking (to most parents) is the most monumental. We applaud them when they first smile, sleep through the night, roll over, eat solid foods, clap their little hands, and crawl. But those first steps. We wait for those. With baited breath and a stuttering heart.

The first time baby puts one foot in front of the other, unaided, the whole parenting game you thought you had going on is suddenly turned upside down. The rules change mid-play. You want to holler foul the first time they fall down. But fall down they will. Over and over again. Your sweet angel baby is no longer content to rest quietly in your lap. They want down. They need down. They have places to go and who are you to hold them back!

So you revise your strategies. You baby proof all those spots they couldn't get too before. You continue to drag your stroller everywhere, but with the knowledge that they will only sit there for the ride and once arrived, will demand release from the straps. You now have to remember to put shoes on them because, hello! They are walking.

Sugarbaby took her first tentative steps a few weeks ago at a friend's house during a fish fry. I was sitting at the table gorging on hushpuppies and fried crappie, drinking a cold one, when out of the blue she took 5 steps across the kitchen straight to me. Everyday since then she has ventured a few more steps. I had been waiting on this day. So excited for the time when I wouldn't have to constantly hold her due to unsanitary floor conditions. Or worry about her adorable outfit becoming unwearable, simply because she crawled everywhere and oh lord it doesn't matter how many times you clean your floor, your babies knees and hands will still look like a used Swiffer.

But walking doesn't automatically make them more self-sufficient or your job as a parent any easier. While it gives your arms a break, it does a number on your legs and back. You will now be chasing baby everywhere. Baby will think that is super funny. "Look at mommy bending over again to get me out of trouble. Ha ha! Mommy can't fit under the clothes rack at Old Navy to retrieve me. I think I'll just do this over and over until I drive Mommy batshit crazy." I hate to tell her it's too late for that.

Sugarbaby has taken this whole mobility thing very seriously. She's downgraded to one nap a day instead of two. Probably to have more hours in the day to practice her toddling. But I can't help but feel kind of sad. Like she is walking away from me instead of too me. Because isn't this just the first of the multiple walking milestones? First there is just the walking. Then there is walking in the door of Kindergarten. Then there is walking to get in her very own car. Then walking on the stage for graduation. Then walking out the door to college. Then walking down the aisle.

How could this sweet baby do all that in the next 20 or so years?

Where is she looking in this picture? Away from me most certainly. Imagining all those walking milestones in her future. Dreaming of the day when life truly opens its many wondrous doors for her to walk through.

Or maybe she just saw something shiny.