Monday, September 7, 2015

Still Your Mind

I'm a restless person. Whether by nature or simply because I was born a Sagittarius, I can't seem to sit still. The wanderlust that resides in my heart and soul is a powerful force. My head filled with dreams of places and people that must be out there just waiting for me to experience. I require constant change of scenery or surroundings or emotions. I imagine I must be super fun to be married to.

As I've gotten older, finding ways to cope with my restlessness has become easier. I no longer want to throw it all in the car and run away. Well maybe a small part of me does, but being as invested in this adult life as I am, it would be quite irresponsible to do that. Instead I pick up a paint brush. A few years ago my oldest child moved in with his father for a while. Upon dropping him off, I took myself and my grief directly to Lowe's and filled up a cart with paint and window treatments. Once home I sequestered myself in the kids bathroom and didn't come out until it looked completely different. Remodeling changes my environment enough to satiate my uneasy mind for a while. We've lived in our home for six years and it has kept me pretty busy. A little at a time, a few big projects a year. Enough gutting, and ripping, and layering over the old with new, to still my mind. Sometimes I feel that if I tried hard enough, I could renovate the inside of my head. Make is shiny and clean and new.

Right now we are working in the bedroom. 30 year old carpet removed, gorgeous stained concrete floor in its place. Paint is going up slowly. Both to prolong the process of change and to make sure the lines are perfect. Next comes our master bath which will require a complete gut, leaving us with a blank canvas. Oh, how I love blank canvases. If I can keep these renovations rolling indefinitely I can keep my brain busy enough to not revolt against me.

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