I think I've reached the point of burnout.
Although I'm not quite sure if its that time in my life where I am allowed to say that. Am I saying it too early? Is there a timeline for a quarter life crisis? Is it really a crisis?
I'm contemplating all this constantly. Every waking minute I am attending to my mind and body and asking WHAT? What do you want of me? What can I do to make you happy? At this moment they are in agree that coffee is the answer.
They also request things like running and hiking and yoga (which I have neglected the last few years), clean food (because extra weight tends to depress one's mind and body), spiritual study (when you are without belief in something other than yourself you are just setting yourself up for unhappiness), and please please just take us out in Nature.
When viewing it from a distance I can see no, its not crisis, its not end all, it is just burnout. Burnout is not so bad. Being burned out means you can take a break, reset, rest your weary mind and body, find a place or some space in your life to take time for you and your needs. And if you can't? Forget that...you can. You must. It's that worn out advice to affix the oxygen mask to yourself before anyone else because you aren't' doing any good flailing around on the floor like a fish out of water. Grabbing your neck because you are drowning on air.
No worries. I'm not drowning anymore.
It's a new season in my house. Yesterday all three of the little darlings were shipped back to school. Yes, homeschooling is over for now. I believe in doing what works for you at the time. Right now this is what is working for us.
And now...time for that coffee.