Thursday, November 12, 2009

Obligatory Pioneer Woman Post

Monday around noon, Supergrandma, Sugarbaby and I set off for Little Rock. We had well laid plans. Or so we thought.

PW's Arkansas book signing was in a Wal-Mart. Oh noooos! Why of all places a Wal-Mart? Only in Arkansas is she hitting up a Wal-Mart. We arrived in LR early in the afternoon, did some shopping (excuse me Supergrandma did some shopping because my debit card recoils in horror upon entering a Banana Republic), and checked into our motel which happened to be on an Air Force Base because now she has military wife status and all the perks that go with it. Lucky bitch.

Anyways....we wanted sushi. Where we live you can't get sushi. Period. So we decided to scope out the Wal-Mart and see how bad the line was before the sushi. This was at 5:45pm. The signing was supposed to start at 6pm. The line was long but not so long you couldn't find the end of it. I was thinking we might be there an hour and a half tops. Poor Supergrandma was starving so I prayed for it to be quick. Huh. Yeah. Well. We stood in line for 3 and a half hours. Taking turns pushing Sugarbaby around the store, chatting with the crazy old ladies behind us, and getting all hot and bothered every time Marlboro Man came into view (well maybe that was just me). He was standing at the corner of the line, right before you got to PW, signing books. Once we made it to him I was ready to hit the road. Who needs PW's signature once you've had your arm around MM and listened to his voice and maybe sniffed him just a little. Oh lordy. That is one fine specimen of a man. And the only proof I have of actually having touched him is a really crappy cell phone photo. It's not even fit for my blog. Cause I forgot the camera at home. I will never live that one down.

We exited the Wal-Mart at approximately 9:15 in a dead sprint. The sushi joint closed at 9:30 and was 5 miles away. Supergrandma may or may not have broken a few traffic laws in getting us there and then threw me out of the car in the parking lot to go and beg for the sushi people to feed us. They were very nice and understanding or at least I think they were and the service was extremely fast and the sushi was delicious. We were out by 10pm.

Through all this Sugarbaby stayed awake. This girl's bedtime is no later than 7pm and it was after 10 and she was still wide eyed. We made it back to the base with the requisite bottle of wine for us and bottle of milk for her. Everyone bedded down with their respective drinks and watched TV until Sugarbaby went to sleep. Except she didn't. Sleep that is. She hung out thinking it was a damn slumber party until after midnight. Finally we slept. And then at 6am on the dot, she puked.

Dog tired, we got ready, hit up a Starbucks (mana from heaven!), and did some more shopping before stopping off at Chili's for lunch because we're original like that. We made it to town just as the school bell rang, swooped up the boys and came home.

The end.

I'm going to take a nap now.


  1. Well, it is Arkansas, and Wal Mart is GOD (Bill Clinton and Paula Deen also signed books at the Wal Mart too)

    I want to smell him now.

  2. Okay, so other than the sniffing of MM it sounds like fun! LOL Glad you, SG, and SB had a good time.

    I can't believe you forgot your camera. *shakes head sadly* LOL

  3. *green with envy*

    a friend turned me onto PW not long ago....i would love to meet marlboro man. oh, and her.

  4. I feel a little out of the circle. I don't know who PW or MM is. Should I?

    And also, any great post as the word Starbucks in it...we all know this.


Now play nice and for every comment you leave, I'll buy you a pony.