Tuesday, September 15, 2009

They Are Much Cuter In Person

So I had this fancy schmancy bar graph all done up just to illustrate my point. But I couldn't transfer it over here so instead you'll just get to deal with my ramblings about how effed up school pictures are.

Both the boys came home with school picture order forms this week.

I vaguely remember my mother muttering under her breath about school pictures twice a year. Twice a year folks! Fall and Spring. Two chances each and every school year to swindle you out of your money. At least I think that is what she was muttering about. Either that or someone hadn't refilled the ice trays. Which I now understand is just as irritating as the school picture scam. Seriously. I didn't get it then....but boy do I now.

So as I was saying, both the boys came home with these forms. I sat down with my checkbook, pen in hand, and scanned the options. Holy freakin shit! You've got to be kidding me! You really get next to nothing for the major dough you're putting down for these school photos. And c'mon, let's admit it, what are school photos anyways? Thirty minutes out of your kid's day where he stands in line, then sits down, then has directions barked at him on how to put his arm just like this and wait, tilt your head this way, and then your chin this way, and he has no clue who this dude is behind the camera, and oh hey! say cheese little guy! He is nervous and sweaty and if he is anything like either of my children, he can't take a decent posed photo to save his life.

While I'm sitting there, contemplating selling a kidney to pay for the school portraits, it occurs to me that this whole deal of buying before you see them....sucks. Yeah. It sucks. When the Monster was in preschool, the small local photo gal gave us proofs and then let us pick the package we wanted. And you know what? Her pictures were awesome! Yeah I'm talking about you Holli! Since then I haven't had the choice of seeing what I'm paying for and its really starting to tick me off. Not only are they screwing us on the prices but they are also sticking it to us on the quality. And 16 wallets!!!! Who needs 16 wallets besides Middle School love birds and Seniors? Not me. Not my kids.

You know what I want? I want a photographer that takes a decent photo. That sends home a proof and then lets me pick and choose what I want in a package. I want someone that doesn't charge $18 for an 8X10. I want someone to respect me and the fact that I am getting roped into buying school pictures twice a year for 13 years and start adding multiple kids into the situation and that means I'll be buying 6 packages a year for 13 years and you know I never claimed to be so good with math but that equals a whole effen lot of school pictures. Half of which are going to suck. Oh lets be honest, probably more than half are going to suck. Because you know what....they're school pictures! If I want good pictures of my kids, I'll call Aunt Gayla, or take them myself.

Just stop it with the freakin school pictures. And while you're at it, don't make me sell wrapping paper, cookie dough, and overpriced candles. The only thing I'm cool with is the Scholastic book forms. Those you can keep sending home. Everything else....I'm boycotting.


  1. Don't do it chick...resist the norm, buck the establishment, don't let anyone quilt you into anything. Let them sit and save your money.

  2. Twice a year is insanity! I've never heard of such a thing. But I agree, school pictures are incredibly over priced for a terrible picture. But think about it, are your kids going to be really upset if you dont but a package of not so good school pictures of them? Are your family members? I'd sit the kids down for a nice little group shot, then individuals, and send out to the fam if ya want! That would be cooler than those school pics. I would only do it for the years they wanted those 16 wallets...but I bet they'd be really understanding, especially when they've got an awesome photographer for a mom already!

  3. Ann- I wasn't aware you were a "stick it to the man" type of person.

    Hi Lary- My husband and I actually just discussed that possiblity last night. Have pics taken once a year as a family. Much nicer and costs the same if not less.

  4. A to the men.

    Every year we have a professional photographer take our family pictures and those we get to see before we order and her pics are amazing.
    www.careyjacquayphotography.com - if any of your commenters live in IN and care to us her.

    This was the first year I didn't order any school pics and I felt horrible about it but COME ON! They are crazy priced for the quality and crappy backgrounds.

    The only thing I did was buy the class pic for my 1st Grader - otherwise we'll stick with our pro - thankyouverymuch.

    Great post - obviously I had a lot to say about this topic as well!

  5. *giving you a standing ovation*

    I completely agree. At least tho, in our town, we only have to pre-pay for the fall pics, not the spring.
    Nothing like a dorky school picture atop your mantle, eh?

    (And I immediately throw all the school fundraising forms in the trash (x 3 kids). Without hesitation.)

  6. AMEN!
    Honestly my kids' photos get worse each year---I think it's partly that they're so disgusted and worn down from the hair-combing and line-waiting that it SHOWS. And yes, when we all have thousands of candid snaps at home, some of which are gorgeous, why do we need to spend $80 on school portraits? That money would be better used having our best candid shot of the year printed LARGE and framed at the local photo shop. Voila.

    School photos are a dinosaur from another era--I have a few of my mother's from the 1940s, when a lot of families didn't have their own cameras. What's the purpose now, besides making a photography company too much money?

    So yeah---good rant. EXCELLENT rant. LOL

  7. So what was the verdict?
    And, glad you could learn something "new" about "Ann".

  8. They are very expensive, but I just never could send them back to school. I don't know why...I just couldn't stand the thought that my babies' pictures would be someone's trash. I always bought them. Always. I'm still glad I did.

  9. Totally agree. The only thing my old school pictures are good for now is a laugh. Boycott away!


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