Thursday, August 27, 2009

I'm Doing a Pharmaceutical Rain Dance

It's been one of those days where I wished Valium was available by the handful for a quarter stuck in one of those gumball machines at the tire shop.

Right. That didn't even make sense to me either. Don't worry, I seem to making less and less sense every single day.

My big ass truck has been in the shop for a few days. Calipers and whatnot rattling and causing much distress to my ears. (Thanks for the diagnosis Dr. James). And you know, when your big ass truck is in the shop you have no other choice but to rely on any alternate means of transportation possible. The first day Supergrandma was kind and generous and allowed me the use of her super shiny, super fancy, super way too nice to put my kids in car. The kids couldn't understand why I turned all crazy and neat freako all the sudden. They're like WHAT? WE CAN'T DRINK SLUSHIES AND EAT EXTREMELY CRUMBLY MOZZARELLA STICKS IN SUPERGRANDMA'S SUPER BADASS CAR? I'm like yep. You heard me. No eating or drinking or breathing in here. In fact, don't even look at all the buttons and screens and never sat on leather seats. Just looking at it might break it.

So I gave back the way too nice for me super badass car and this morning I took the hubby's 4-Runner to work. All I can say is WOW. There are no words for driving it after driving the car of my dreams. Did I mention its like a 94 model? That he hauls groceries in? And it doesn't even go in reverse? Yep. Yep. Yep. Oh my gah. Shoot me now.

Then this afternoon I still had the problem of getting the fifteen miles back into town to get the boys at school and my truck which was supposed to be done by 2pm. J was kind enough to give me a ride in. Once I got my truck (at 4pm instead of you know 2pm) I discovered that while it sat at the shop overnight it had acquired some new passengers. Like about 900 of them. Ants. Effing ants. Shoot me again.

So I spent the next two hours spraying, vacuuming, cleaning, and cursing all the buggies in my big ass truck. Fun stuff I tell ya.

Once home, I served dinner (leftover spaghetti again, my kids think i am awesome!). While I was giving Sugarbaby a bath the boys were finishing up their plates. At least that's what I thought they were doing. Instead they were having a noodle fight. The scene I walked in on made my head spin around and word vomit spew forth. I prayed for Valium to fall from the heavens like rain. Too bad there wasn't a cloud in the sky.


  1. I had to pick myself up from the floor laughing to comment on this---
    and YES, gumball-style valium is a boss idea!!

  2. Oh my gosh - yesterday was my "everything is going to be effed up today" too.

    It must have been something in the universe.

    Ants though? Would've thrown me right over the edge.

  3. Knock on wood. I haven't had one of those days in a while! Although, my kids have definitely mastered the fine art of "noodle throwing"!

  4. Random question.....Where did you get your baby sling/wrap that you had at the fall festival last year? I LOVE IT! It's the style I want but I can't find one like it anywhere.

  5. Susan- I know right? Genius idea. If only there weren't laws against such things.

    Lindy- Must have been. The ants yes....OMG I hate ants. They blew that last working fuse in my head.

    Jenni- The knowledge that noodles are perfect projectiles that will STICK must be ingrained at birth. It just supports my theory that they are out to get us.

  6. Aw I didnt know about the 4 oclock thing or the ants.WHY DIDNT YOU CALL ME


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