Hindsight is Really Just Foresight. Reversed.

When I was 20 years old I got pregnant. It wasn't expected and I was upset. I had a good job, a fast car, a rental house filled with wine bottles. I wasn't ready for a baby. But, the ex and I made the best of it for a whole year, and then we divorced. It was mutual at the time. Despite the friendly relationship we have 5 years later, things weren't so simple right after our split.

We fought, screamed, argued in front of our infant son. We told lies to each other and about each other to other people. We found others as well. Good others. And after several months, we reached common ground. We wanted what was best for our son and we wanted each other to be happy with those others we found. His being his wife. Mine being my husband.

I'd be lying now if I didn't say that there were times when I wanted him dead or at least harmed badly. At the time he had the power to make me so angry I shook and he took advantage of it every chance he got. But gradually he lost that power and we became friends. There were also times that I wished I had never married him. But then I think about it in hindsight and realize that isn't true. Had I never married the ex, I wouldn't have the Monster. That in itself is enough to make me do it all over again. Had I never married the ex, I wouldn't have been in the position I was to meet the Hubby. Resulting in my two other darling babies, Cashman and Sugarbaby.

Lots of things happened because I got pregnant, married a man, had a baby, and got a divorce. Lots of good things. Lots of life altering, heart wrenching, time stopping, never look back things. Maybe I knew what I was doing the whole time. Or maybe my mother did. On the day of my wedding to the ex, she told me that it wasn't too late to back out. Because she knew that in a very short time I would be a single mother. I told her that I knew that too, but this was the right thing to do at the time. I was right, but so was she.