Walk vs. Hike

I've been walking. Not running. Just walking.

A few weeks ago my knee reminded me why regular running hasn't worked for me in a long time. Just when I get back in a groove, some nagging part of my body shuts me down.

So....walking.

I like to move, but move quickly. It takes patience to walk. Even the dog leans forward, pulling (though he's trained not too), straining to pick up the pace. He looks back at me. Why aren't we jogging his face asks. "I can't," I say out loud to him and the pavement and the trees and anyone who will listen. He and I are both happier when we take to the trails and the mountains. There it's okay to slow down. He is off leash and so am I. My mind doesn't race on the trail. It's distracted by the landscape and sounds. It has a job to do. Watch out for rocks, snakes, bears. My brain is simultaneously soothed and stimulated in the woods. It might just be the best form of therapy.

This morning we walked. While the car was being worked on we hoofed it to a nearby neighborhood around a small lake and walked three miles. The exercise felt good, the fresh air felt good, the chill that has finally hit our mornings felt good. But being on pavement, walking past houses, listening for traffic...none of that calmed me. I came away from our walk even more wound up than when I started. Which means its settled. I can no longer walk. I'll just have to hike.

End of Summer Camping

We tried to organize a short camping trip before school started. But as it got closer to our planned weekend, we watched the thermometer rise and our hopes sink. Roughing it doesn't scare us, but sleeping in a tent in 104 degree weather does.

So we waited and watched and waited some more until we felt like the time was right. Covering our bases at work is difficult and we can mostly only squeeze in one night and one full day away from our responsibilities. Never mind the shortness of the trip, its always just enough for fun and a little bit of soul cleansing.

A 45 minute drive lead us deeper into the mountains to a tiny lake and spectacular campground. 1950's style summer camp type campground. No cabins, but plenty of primitive sites. Lots of loops full of different entertainment scattered around the lake. Each loop has a bathhouse, but only one loop has the playground and horseshoe pit. Another has the pavilion and ping pong tables. Somewhere there was a volleyball net but I never saw it. You can borrow horseshoes, basketballs, and ping pong gear from the camp hosts. One less thing to drag along. I discovered I'm not too bad at horseshoes. Never having the privilege of playing it before I really didn't know how well I would fare throwing heavy metal objects long distances.

The spots along the lake edge were all taken as we pulled in on a dreary Saturday afternoon. It takes two vehicles to get us, the dog, and all our gear where we are going. We slowly drove the loops, looking for just the right spot. When it appeared, elation filled our hearts and we knew it was perfect. Perched high on a bank, overlooking one of the creeks that fed the lake. Flat and connected to another site next to it where our friend would be able to pitch her tent. Plenty of room for the kids to run around and private enough the dog could to. A huge site, with cool clean clear water gurgling below it. It was ours. It was waiting for us. When we later hiked a quarter mile upstream and came across the most serene swimming hole, it solidified my thoughts that fate saved us a camping spot.

The kids wore themselves out, exhausted in their tents the whispering didn't last long. Falling asleep by the light of a supermoon must be the best kind of nightlight one could have in the dark of the woods. The oldest of our tribe and his best friend cocooned themselves together in a hammock that lowered itself inch by inch as the night wore on. By morning their bottoms were touching the earth. Awaking while it was still dark, I cursed the fact that sleeping anywhere but my bed is so hard for me. I lay there wishing to go back to sleep until I noticed the light creeping in. I had slept through the night. It was the very early wisps of dawn that had awoken me. Creeping out of the tent, to the greeting of our faithful watch campdog who was the only one up before me. This is my time. Stirring the coals, pulling up a chair and my sweater closer around me, enjoying that first cup of coffee with my sandal clad feet propped on the fire ring. Wishing for more mornings like this. If only every morning could be enjoyed around the remnants of last nights fire with a view of a foggy forest and the sound of a gently rolling mountain stream.

Girls Night In Fayetteville

A few weeks ago a friend and I hit up The Little Craft Show in Fayetteville. Coolest thing ever! Shopping for awesome indie goods and beer? This is truly an event I can get behind.

Pregaming at Tiny Tim's with a yummy American Stout.

Boxed water is for hipsters.

Free photo booth complete with a lumberjack unicorn!!!!

Late night shenanigans.

Even later late night shenanigans included harassing all the food cart vendors on Dickson.

Until we meet again next year, Little Craft Show!

Lucky

My husband likes to frequently point out that I live, in his opinion, a privileged life.

Like yesterday when he asked what we did. My reply was, "Well we went to the trampoline park, the plastic surgeon, and ate at Big Orange where we were spoiled by our server." His reply, "That's pretty much what you do everyday."

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Yes. I am pretty lucky. I have more freedom than most. But in my mind, I have created that freedom. I only work at our business on the weekends and only for a few hours at a time so that we are able to homeschool. Our small home based soap store doesn't require more than a few more hours a week out of me. I drive an older vehicle with no car payments so I have extra spending money. It was all part of my plan, I tell him, to be able to do what I want when I want. Which sounds selfish and spoiled and maybe it is, but 98% of my time is spent with my kids. Going and doing and learning and creating.

I didn't know how to take care of myself when I was younger. The realization that one must put on their own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs didn't hit me until recently. You have to take care of yourself. But in such a child driven world, taking care of oneself can appear selfish. What? You take time to go to the gym/go running/hiking/yoga class? Shame on you. You drove 3 hours to go to a children's program at the museum and maybe do a little shopping for yourself because you live in the middle of nowhere but still want to enrich your children and indulge in retail therapy? That is a waste of time and gas and aren't you lucky you can just take off and do those things in the middle of the day.

My children are with me constantly. And they don't realize this isn't truly normal. Not being tied down to a job or a school schedule. A supportive father and husband who doesn't mind funding our adventures with only minimal amount of ribbing. But I still need to take care of myself.

So I do small things. Go for an early morning solo run. Sneak off to an essential oils demo at a friends house. Put the kids to bed early and hide in my room with laptop, beverage, and copious amounts of Gilmore Girls on Netflix. Always pick the restaurant when we are traveling so I can pretend to be a foodie and make sure my children experience real food at every meal. That last one is important because I have realized that even when I can't get a physical break I must take charge of the things that make me happy. And food makes me happy so I always pick in order to get that mental enjoyment of an amazing plate.

And when I don't take the time to do these things I realize that I'm not being very nice. I'm on the edge of freaking out and needing a mental health day. Which is kind of hard to take when everyone is home all the time. Every single day.

It's all about perspective I suppose. What ones life looks like to outsiders is usually entirely different than the reality. My blessings might be your problems. The things that make you happy could drive me crazy. Not everyone could deal with the absolute un-scheduledness of our days. Or the constant togetherness. Or the fact that my only traveling companions are both under 4 foot.

But they are pretty cool companions. They even get their own hashtags at restaurants. I don't have much to complain about. I lead a pretty privileged life.

#stellaapproved

Wordless Wednesday: Arkansas Is Beautiful

The Mountains Are Calling...

I very badly want to sneak away for some Fall camping. But right now we just can't. Instead we will have to settle for day trips to satisfy that craving.