Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Just Give Me My PMS. It's Mine. Leave It Alone.

I just ate a plate of nachos. At ten thirty in the morning.

Can anyone guess what time of the month it is?

Anyone?

In my defense I didn't eat breakfast and ran 2 miles.

In my defense my hormones are nutso and my husband is very close to needing life insurance.

I try not to use this blog as a place to discuss my marriage unless it is in a positive light. I love him. I need him. He's a good guy. I don't feel like airing your dirty laundry for the whole wide Internetz to read is a key component to having a good marriage. Couples have their ups and downs and every relationship has issues. So you will rarely hear me go off about Super Ultra Mega Stud on here.

But.....

today is another story.

Here's the deal. My husband, my dear darling husband doesn't think PMS is real. He says it is not a legitimate excuse for women to go off half cocked for a week acting like bitches. He says oh yes you are bloated and I'm sure you don't feel good but that shouldn't affect your attitude. He calls me crazy and tells me to get a hold of myself. As if I have some control over the chemicals in my body or the frying pan I'm holding over his head while he's not looking.

We have this discussion every month. I give him an appropriate amount of warning time to duck and cover and he refuses. Instead he cops his own attitude and we battle it out. Instead of laying low and giving me my space, he argues and pushes and tries his hardest to tick me off.

I JUST WANT TO HAVE MY $#%&! PMS!

Just let me have a few days to act irrational and as you put it, crazy. Just allow me to be a tad bit bitchy and sensitive and indulge me just a few crying spells. Give me my biologically allowed excuse back. I want my PMS back!

Could someone please explain this to him? Cause he's not listening to me until I calm down. Even though I am calm as can be. I'm not yelling, or throwing things, or changing the locks, or putting his toothbrush in the toilet. And I swear I haven't thought of doing one or all any of those things in the last 24 hours.

8 comments:

  1. I have AWFUL PMS and my husband has learned that it is, in fact, very real. He knows when it's here even faster than I do. But, we have had many a discussion about it. And I use the term "discussion" lightly!

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  2. Does he "believe in" puberty? Seriously. Same basic idea, the chemicals in your body cause you to change & act differently. It's nothing we have control over. I doubt that all of us want to turn into psycho bitch for a week each month. It's not as if we ENJOY it. :D

    No matter what we do, what they are told, what they read - men will never, ever understand it. I don't understand erectile dysfunction, but I believe it's real. haha

    Tell the hubs that he OWES you one week of PMS for every DAY you carried his children. That should last ya til menopause.

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  3. UGH! Men!

    I'm sorry, that's all I've got. I think I'm on the same cycle as you are.

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  4. Boys are dumb, even smart ones.

    He's a smart guy, he's been to college, possibly he skipped that day in biology, the one about HORMONES and the endocrine system?

    My PMS isnt that bad (mood wise at least), but I'm a psycho pregnant lady, so I feel your pain. Only James throws cokes and gas station snack food at me from a safe distance til I find my happy place.

    Here's my solution: he pays for you to go to the doctor. There are pills for this. (I met a girl who only takes a low dose anxiety medicine for one week a month)OR he builds a bridge and gets the eff over it!

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  5. I'm lucky I guess. My husband is a believer! He just stays out of my way until the wave crests and the waters recede.

    BUT

    Whenever I do or say anything that seems emotional or irrational he'll ask me if it's that time of the month. Which kind of implies I'm being stupid crazy so it must be PMS time. No honey... sometimes it's just bitchy old me. Don't make PMS take all the heat.

    I hope Studly will come around and leave you and PMS alone. And I'm sure you will be very happy together.

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  6. You have to see it from his prospective. He's taking out his frustration because he knows for the next week, he's not getting any. :)

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  7. I couldn't agree more! It has taken many, many years (fourteen and counting) for my husband to finally not take the bait that I consistently lay out there every month during 'that time.' I try to keep the comments to myself the rest of the month, but I just can't keep them in during PMS.

    Keep on training him and then he will eventually get it. :)

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Now play nice and for every comment you leave, I'll buy you a pony.