Saturday, June 27, 2009

I'm Calling My Army Dad

My younger son is causing marital distress.

For the past month or so he has been making mention of his Army dad. I have no idea what he is talking about.

The first time it happened he told the hubby that he needed to go see his Army dad. Hubby looked at me like WTF? I just shrugged and suggested that maybe Cashman just had a very big imagination.

It went on and on with the Army dad being mentioned daily. To the point where my husband was actually a bit suspicious of me having a fling with a man in uniform. That in itself made me nearly wet myself with laughter. If you know me at all in real life you know that one of the things I hate most in this life is a cheater. You know I am loyal and you know the fierce love I have for my husband. You also know I am a overworked, non-paid SAHM of three and finding the time for an affair would be impossible and quite laughable.

I explained very nicely and patiently to my husband all of these particulars and once again blamed it on our son's love of all things Army including guns and camo. I also figured that since my eldest son has two dads (the ex and the hubby) that maybe Cashman was just trying to even things out by inventing another dad for himself.

An imaginary Army dad.

Just last night as the hubby was tucking in the boys, the Monster asked to call his Dad and tell him goodnight. Within seconds, Cashman was saying he was gonna call his Army dad too. The hubby just shook his head and calmly told him that he was his only dad and unfortunately he wasn't in the Army.

I don't think he's satisfied with this and I see many more episodes of the Army dad in our future. As long as I don't have to set the guy a place at the table, I'm cool with it.


  1. My oldest daughter has an extra Dad too; fortunately for all of us he never bothered with her. BUT his parents won visitation, (&%$£&!!) and used to pick her up every few weeks to spoil her rotten and take her places and bring her gifts etc. It was a real problem for the younger kids, who felt left out. Of course it's a great opportunity to teach all the kids that we all have different lots in life, that we're all lucky in different ways, and being envious of someone else is just useless.

    But then, younger siblings are just hard-wired for monkey-see-monkey-do, aren't they? Whatever #1 gets, #2 will want. I just hope you don't start seeing calls to Afghanistan or Iraq on your phone bill, from someone in your house looking for a volunteer extra-Dad!

  2. at least he doesn't have a mysterious "barbie" mom....

  3. My oldest had a little black kitten that went everywhere with her. My daughter was the only one who could see her. One day we were in subway and she had a fit in the car saying she left the cat in Subway...Luckily I was quick thinking that day and said nope the cat jumped on me and came in the car with me. She was happy with that. We had little black kitty for 6 months and then poof he was gone. My son is 4 years old and he has a imagery friend named Jane.. Jane is a little boy also and he works with my son everyday building a rocket. He also works on my son imagery combine, tractor, and truck. Jane does all sorts of things. We are going on 3 months now with this. I think you are right. You son likes army stuff and he loves his dad therefore he has a army dad. He is not trying to hurt his dad's feeling in anyway...He might even play with this army dad, just like he would his real dad.. Does that make sense.. Tell your hubby its very normal!!!! I personally think its great that he has such a great imagination...

  4. LOL! Classic. Imaginary army dad.Kids can be so silly. And if he only knew or could comprehend what it could do to a marriage! Well good luck telling him that army dad doesnt exist, he seems convinced that he does in fact have one!

  5. you think maybe he is talking about james. Thats the only service man i can think of. And kiah called him daddy james since ava did. WHO KNOWS WEIRD.

  6. hahaha...Miss D's comment is brillant!

    Just tell him that Army Dad ran away to Canada to avoid being enlisted.

  7. I want an army dad too. Think he'll share?

  8. Susan- I look at it the same way as you. A lesson to be learned but trying explaining that to a 3 year old.

    I'll keep an eye on the phone bill!

    Miss D- Better not! Barbie is right here at home. Hahahaha!

    Little Ladybugs- That's funny! I had imaginary animals when I was young as well. I never liked people so much, even then. I think the hubby is over it and not to upset. Thanks for the kind words.

    AB- That's what I'm saying. All this talk of people who don't exist could get a gal in TROUBLE!

    Jodi- Nah. Surely not. He hasn't seen him in forever.

    Frogs- Very.

    Lindy- She is a character, that Miss D.

    Shania- I'm sure he will if you ask nicely. And bribe him with M&M's.


Now play nice and for every comment you leave, I'll buy you a pony.