Friday, January 30, 2009

Babies and Their Skinny Jeans

I've got myself a booty! Booty booty booty! I'd like to say that it is the direct result of three, count em', three pregnancies, but it could have been there before. Yep, I've probably had that thing a long while.

To counteract the super booty I'm sporting, I've started walking again. I was a regular walker year before last and had dropped a nice 20lbs right before getting knocked up with Sugarbaby. I'm back on the wagon people! The exercise wagon. Jack also helps. He needs the exercise since all he does is sit in the corner all day. He's like an emo kid. Sitting around moping with a little tear in his eye. He's plotting to steal my straight iron and use my lipstick to compose phony suicide notes on my mirror*. Unless I take him for a walk. Which I've been doing. A lot. A long way. Until my legs burned. And were sore the next day. And I whined a whole lot about my legs feeling like jello. All this so I can get back into my skinny jeans. But first I have to buy some cause I gave them all away in a fit of depression while I was 8 months pregnant.

Speaking of skinny jeans....I am absolutely amazed at the way Sugarbaby's jeans fit her. She is 9 months old wearing size 6-12 month clothes. She only has two pair of jeans, the rest are comfy yoga pants perfect for crawling. But both of those pair of jeans look like they were made to fit an adult. A very skinny adult. She can't sit upright in them. She can't crawl in them. She can't do anything. Much like a woman who has poured herself into some skintight pants two sizes too small. You know you've done it and comfortable it was not, huh?

So what's up with this? Am I just buying the wrong brand, should I go up another size and hope she doesn't glimpse the tag and get a complex. "Uh, excuse me mother. I am not even 12 months old. What are these size 18 month pants doing in my closet?"

Or has the trend to be rail thin extended into our youngest generation of women. The babies. Do the clothing designers want our darling daughters to have perky butts while they are still in diapers? Should I dress her up in her skinny jeans and try and find her a boyfriend? Am I just imagining all of this? Someone send me some links for some normal fitting baby girl jeans and I'll shower you with SugarBritches love.

*Jack is a dog. Dogs cannot commit suicide. Unless you count chasing cars. Cause that is suicide.


  1. I like the kind that have the little expandable waist thingy on the inside.

    As for your booty, its not near as big as mine! Now for your boobs...another story!

  2. You absolutely crack me up..

  3. I always liked Old Navy and Gap's baby jeans. They were always really soft right from the get-go and seemed to fit my kids perfectly. But of course it was before the skinny jean craze.....

  4. my kids have probably not been comfy a day in their life because well i guess you could call me snobby...we like levis, and old navy, and gap. they seem to fit the best on little people.

  5. Same as when my boy was a kid. Diapers and jeans = straightjacket. They simply are too tight to allow for crawling movement, or getting up when they tip over. Bah. Who are these idiots who design baby jeans like this???


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