Thursday, December 18, 2008

Going To Bed With Everyone But My Husband

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I can see it, although dim, I'm positive it's there. It is right? Please please please tell me it is.

I don't think the hubby and I have spent one night alone in our bed in the last 4 years. Not counting our honeymoon, but that wasn't our bed. That was some funked up vintage Vegas mattress in the jewel that is The Golden Nugget.

Before Sugarbaby was conceived (bet you're wondering how that happened) we thought that the end was near. The Monster had been sleeping in his own bed since Cashman was born and he generally stayed in there most of the night. Not to say that if he did wake up, I either had to get up and turn his movie back on, or relent, and let him crawl in bed with us. Cashman was a guaranteed bed partner every night. He started off in his own, but no later than midnight he crept in, stealth as a ninja and claimed his parcel of bed without the hubby or I ever stirring.

While I was pregnant, I got sick and tired of waking up with one between me and hubby and one using my ankles as a pillow. I needed room. Lots of room. I considered throwing elbows, issuing ultimatums, locking the doors, but I was too much of a softie, and you could say my pleas fell on sleeping ears. So instead, I woke up as much as possible to haul each child in turn back to his own bed. It was not fun.

Along comes sweet Sugarbaby. This three day old infant now had claim to Cashman's earlier staked territory. He was a bit disgruntled, but tried to take it in stride. He went to his room each night at bedtime, but still tried to come into ours in the wee hours. I thought I could solve this by making him a pallet on the floor. This just cut the night into thirds instead of in half. One third spent in his bed, one third on the pallet, one third trying to reclaim his lost bed position. The struggle never ended, and still it goes on.

We're in a new house and we still haven't had our bed to ourselves for one night. Most evenings the hubby stays up a bit later than me and when he does venture to our room, he most often heads right back to the couch. There's no place for him to lay down. Our king size bed is littered with bodies. And apparently...I snore like a wildebeest.


  1. we are bad mommies for letting our kids sleep with us. you know we will roll on them and they will die right?
    its hard
    i cant do it
    if you find something that works let me know
    how about bribery? like if you sleep in your bed all week you can have xyz? say only babies sleep with mom and dad? one of those hearbeat weird teddy bears? i dunno?

    poor ashley

  2. Hey, I thought that was normal.

    Isn't it normal?

  3. oh my god you live at my house!! bent slept in his bassinette thing for about 2 weeks then i fell asleep breast feeding and he never got out of our bed again. when we got pregnant w/ had we upgraded to a king size, then right before bent turned 3 we found the most awesome boy bed. bunk up top, fort down below, with a slide coming off the bed. some nights he makes it all night some he doesn't. we didn't even set a crib up for hadlie, we knew it would just be a laundry basket like bent's was. i can't help you at all, you are already ahead of me at least your's put themselves to sleep, i STILL have to rock mine.

  4. Wow. I only snore like a lion with a headcold. You have me beat.

    As for the kids sleeping with you, been there. They are birth control! lol

  5. Dylan did you miss your medication today?

  6. yup
    im off the junk
    sedation is not for me
    i kind of like to feel

  7. We got both kids full size beds instead of twins because I refuse to have kids in bed with us (except in the morning) despite us having a king size you know what has happened? At LEAST 4 nights of the week one of us is missing from our bed and is sleeping with one of the kids...and often times our bed is completely empty and each child has a parent in their bed. I'm not sure which is worse, us sleeping with them, or them sleeping with us! sigh.

  8. Apparently we were lucky. Eva slept w/ us for 18 months and then she was home free... As long is her mattress was on the floor and the white noise machine was on. We've all been sleeping better. Jake's a cuddler and I don't want ANYBODY touching me at night.

    To heck with what AAP says, I can't stand the thought of a little one on their own all night...

  9. Yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! It is just that the tunnel can seem very very long at times. We have finally arrived! The third child left the our about 6 years ago --when he was about 6. We still all pile up on the king-size waterbed to hang out in the evenings. But, at least now, they all got to seperate beds to sleep. Hang in there. It really seems brief (after it is over) ;-)

  10. I'm right there with you again, Girl. Sissy has slept with us since day 1. When Bubba was born, I refused to let him do the same. But as it turns out, a 2 1/2 yr old sprawled out on a queen size bed, an infant still waking once or twice a night for a bottle, and a grouchy wife makes Hubby sleep in the other room!


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