Thursday, October 23, 2008

Much Ado About My Hair

Hello. My name is Ashley and I have bad hair.

Normally I have pretty good hair, but folks, its all a farce. I have to work for that good hair. It takes a good hour and a half to blow dry, section out, then heat it too the temperature of hot lava just to make it all nice, shiny, and straight. And when I'm too lazy, I pull out my old friend the Aussie Sprunch Spray. Boom, instant wave. Pin those bangs up and we're done.

It looks like I'm gonna be sporting the wavy look on a regular basis now, because this morning I lost a very important member of my hair care crew. That's right, my Turbo CHI bit the dust. Oh my gawd. I cried, hard, for a long time. Then I cussed. Then I very gently laid it to rest in its original box and put it in the cabinet. I'm not sure why, except I couldn't bear to throw it away. It has stood by me, always doing its best to tame my unruly mane into that of, well someone with better hair than me.

Besides just being sad about my CHI dying, I'm kind of scared. Do you know how much those things cost? I do. I just Googled it. And I, the SAHM in the middle of the boonies, do not have an extra bill laying around right now. I mean, I'm pretty sure I can't live without my CHI, but I can't live with my hubby if I ask him to buy me a new one. Maybe he'll do it just so no one sees his wife looking like holy hell. Or maybe he just won't let me leave the house sporting these awesome 80's bangs I'm rocking right now. What comes first a new oven, or a new straight iron? Shouldn't I look hot while slaving over that new oven? I think so! Somebody better pony up quick with a donation to SugarBritches so I can continue to look my best whilst spending all my free time blogging, instead of you know, getting a job.



  1. have you tried ebay? my sister got a chi for 80$ brand new. i have a shitty revlon that is about to die also, been hinting around for a chi, chase ain't biting though

  2. Go to Sally's. Make sure you get ceramic with the right temperature (400 degrees or up I believe) you'll save $50-60 and it works great. They have one year warranties... which I have used no problem. My current one, however, is fixing to turn 3 years old and it's still hot.

    If you are a chi snob, once every six weeks or so JC Penney's puts out a pretty good coupon for Chi's in their salon.

  3. It's genetic, kiddo. People say they would kill for our thick hair.....but they don't have to live with it.


  4. At least you have hair! I cut all mine off and now I has a sad. :( If I had a decent iron, I'd send it to ya!

  5. Jeez, I've been had. I admit it, I am a CHI snob. Actually when it comes right down too it I'm just an all around snob. Shhhh...don't tell.

    Anyways Grandmama came through and is getting me a new one since el birthday is coming up next month. Thanks GG, and you need to get a account so you can start commenting. My grandma is hilarious. I get all my wittiness from her. Oh and my boobs. I definatley get my boobs from her.

  6. Hair is way over rated.

    Quick personal story.

    I'm a 54yr old guy. We are adopting a acouple of little ones (4 & 6 yr old brother/sister).

    I went down to the barber and got a buz cut. You know where the get the clippers and run them around and around on top of the head till all the hair is about a quarter in long. Except for my bald spot in the back... which if your going to have a bald spot that's the perfect place 'cause you can't see it so therefore it doesn't really exist.

    So any way our little 4yr old son wants a hair cut like daddy. So my Mrs. takes him out in the back with our clippers and gives him a buz cut.

    After she finishes she says, "See, now you have a hair cut just like daddy's."

    Not missing a beat, he reaches up with his little hand too feel the back of his head and upon feeling the prickly little hairs he says, "Uh-uhh, I don't have a hole like daddy!"

    So you see... hair is way over rated. ;)

  7. wow my grandma gave me a dollar for every year i was...i think it topped out at 14...way to go ashley's grandma!!


Now play nice and for every comment you leave, I'll buy you a pony.